anti-gender

So first things first: I don’t ever regret cutting my hair short.

I think every woman should try cutting it short at some point. And I’ve loved having short hair and I’ve found myself caring and bothering with my hair so much more than I ever did with long hair, and of course I get gaydar-ed and less harassed by men these days. I have had a lovely romantic time with my steadily more experimental and crazy cut.

But I’m having a thing where I really really really wish I could have long hair again, and of course that’s impossible cos it would take about 3 years to get there and 2 of those years would be Awkward Hair Years. And I never have the patience to get through even the Mullethood, never mind the Awkward Ear Area stage, the Weird 90s Hairdo stage and then the Big Fuzzy I-Refuse-To-Obey Mess stage. And knowing me if I did somehow make it through I would be all, OH I MISS HAVING SHORT HAIR <3 and OH, NO ONE EVER REALISES I’M GAY ANYMORE (hah yeah right) and OH, I MISS BEING ABLE TO EXPRESS MY BOYISH SIDE MORE EASILY (this one is quite a big one - but at the moment I feel I struggle to express my femme side easily)

Basically…the only thing I can think of is to get a wig! A good wig, not a crappy plastic-y one. I couldn’t ever afford real hair ones (they’re like £400 :[) but there’s some pretty nice realistic ones for the £100 mark.

Reasons I’m thinking of wigging it out:

• I wouldn’t have to choose between long and short, smart for work or crazy colours ever again! Which is amazing because I hate the thought of having to have conventional brown hair all day every day to get employed. My hair is like, a hobby to me lol.
• I can switch between femme and boi every single day with no faffing about trying to get my short hair to look ‘pretty’
• People who know me, know I go through dramatic image changes all the time and know one day I’ll be ultra femme and the other I’ll be butchy mcbutch so it’s not like I’m being any more weird than usual
• Every frigging celebrity out there wears at least a partial wig. Gaga, Rihanna, actually name me any current celebrity and 9/10 times I bet they have at least hair extensions in, if not a full blown wig. Therefore for anyone to turn around and be all ‘THATS SO WEIRD’ is ridiculous because every bloody woman in the media does it and people are perfectly happy to idolize them and not judge their wiggage.
• I can cut my own short hair - if I grew my hair out long that would become much more difficult and I would have to go to the salon, costing 35-40 quid a go. 3 haircuts = the price of the wig. Therefore this whole thing is actually a bargain, and allows me to carry on avoiding the salons.

The only thing I’m worried about is, people already don’t seem to take my gender fluidity seriously, even my own gf makes out she likes it but then seems really off with me when I’m girly. And really happy when I go back into ‘boi’ mode. I spend more time looking andro than girly so everyone has a freak out when I’m on the girl side (which is weird considering I think I still act pretty girly even when I’m aesthetically andro). I think the long hair will just further stamp in the ‘she’s so fake’ impression of me people seem to get.

Blehhhhh I just want to be able to switch whenever I want and embrace everything. Maybe I’m just greedy. I just don’t see why I should choose or why I should be judged.

Posted 2 years ago — 5 notes